I saw your toes aimed at each other,
thought that you would make a lover,
out of me, catch me in the breeze
of hot winds, branches, climbing trees
we climbed when you & I were fifteen,
but now we're honest, & twenty-three.
Remember when you came over,
wrote on my hand, "forever,"
and I squeezed the life out of you,
cherry, apple, lemon, blueberry blue.
Your heart was juiced, an organ drained.
All I wanted was for you to stay the same.
But you can't and so can't I,
Believe me, even though I lied.
About the months of August, September,
And July- I lost you, I lost my pride.
I'll never feel the same about what I did.
There's no use, we're no longer kids.
And you're not the same as me.
I wouldn't lie through my teeth,
Smiling so secretly about intention.
Forgetting to look at me & mention
Your hands over his body, his chest.
I broke every vein in my head, my best
Memories were destroyed,
Obliterated, spoiled,
Like milk and lemon in a cup,
I'll never again give a fuck
About what you need and what you want.
